David Lachapelle was chosen as this years photographer for the annual Kardashian Christmas Card, and if you know Lachapelle, you know Krazy.

This annual exercise in narcissism is epic and looks like it was put together by a drunk Persian out puking gold and neon in a Vegas hotel lobby. We’re not saying The 2013 Kardashian Christmas Card isn’t a beaut; it is. It also crazy and gross.

All the men are missing except for Bruce who looks like he’s trapped in a chamber, a star chamber perhaps. The gold medals of this former Olympian are strewned across mannequins. There are illuminati signs, an ATM, TV sets, celebrity magazines, gold, neon and shimmery grossness. The Kardashian women are dressed in black,their dresses slit in the front.

Makes you wanna slit your throat.

Merry Christmas!